What is Education?

I think of education as the life-to-life transfer of whatever is whole and real in one person, to another. I tend to use this word for more formal, content-focused building of the intellectual ‘architecture’.

What is Formation?

I use ‘formation’ to refer to the shaping of capacity in a person. Though others do use these two words interchangeably, to me, ‘formation, has a more contextual and informal quality.

What experiences have shaped your soul positively/negatively?

Of course, this Q is impossible to answer fully, both because we don’t remember or aren’t aware of all that affects us, and because we couldn’t write all we don’t know in a reasonable number of words. But, significant moments and influences do stand out.

I’m sure that even the ‘nominal Episcopalian’ phase of my childhood (especially my Baptism) had a positive effect (possibly, also, a negative one, since there was not much Christian formation offered there). Buckets of time spent outdoors, being loved and raised by ethical people surely helped my soul. Living within a very conflicted family, being allowed an unsafe degree of freedom of movement in the world, experiencing loneliness, rejection and betrayal many times, all undermined my interior sense of security and thus, my trust in God. Later, an unsound, too-early marriage, followed by life as a trapped and terrified single mother took its toll. Was it the pain that toughened me into hard-heartedness, or the lack of interior freedom that prevented me from calling out to God in my distress? Maybe both. Childbirth itself was probably the pivotal event in terms of opening my soul to its deep yearnings, and child-raising stimulated me to greater virtue than I imagine could have been effected in me by any other means. Music played a part in my conversion to Christianity – the sung prayer and praise of believers broke my heart open, finally, to let in the love of Christ. Reading has been an on-going force for good – the conversations with authors, through books, expanding the intellectual and doctrinal support for spiritual growth. My conversion to Catholicism, of course, caps every other experience in terms of the effect (positive!) on my soul.

Describe your formal education.

I have a bachelor’s degree in Finance, and no further formal education. I did complete the Maryvale certificate in Art, Beauty and Inspiration from a Catholic Perspective.

What was the effect of your education on your spiritual life?

I’m convinced my education deadened the ‘religious sense,’ or impulse toward spiritual growth in me. It left me bereft of any sense of the deep connectedness of all things, wonder at the marvels of Creation, assurance that Truth could be known. I forgot most of the math and history I ‘learned,’ after making A’s in those classes. I was not allowed to take Wood Shop, as a female, or an art class, as one who could not do even a rudimentary contour drawing. School did make choral music available for me, though, and for that I am eternally thankful. I believe music kept alive in my soul a capacity for poetry, being, and grace.

Describe how you have been educated about religious/spiritual things.

Sermons, Bible studies, RCIA, and reading on my own have constituted most of my religious education. I’ve had some training from the Apostles of the Interior Life, an experience with the Focolare movement, several years of following the CL method, “School of Community,” and also the Art, Beauty and Inspiration program. I’ve enjoyed listening to Fr. Larry Richards on CDs and have watched a number of saint stories and Catholic documentaries on DVDs. I attended a week-long summer camp to learn Gregorian Chant, and continue to learn about Catholic traditions and doctrines through singing sacred music for liturgies. The list of authors who have contributed to my education is a long one. A few are Fr. Thomas Dubay, Fr. James Schall, G.K. Chesterton, C.S. Lewis, Dietrich von Hildebrand, Josef Pieper, Henri Nouwen, Catherine Doherty, Flannery O’Connor, Dorothy Sayers, Adrienne von Speyr, St. Edith Stein, St. Francis de Sales Fr. Luigi Giussani, and Simone Weil.

How has media helped educate you?

My early years were largely de-formed by time spent watching TV. I haven’t had a TV in over 20 years, so I’ve not been much affected by it since then. Movies have helped me see the world as others see and experience it, and helped me understand some of the cultural insanity around me. Of course, books are also ‘media,’ and most of my reading has done me good (Ayn Rand had a decidedly negative appeal for me in my late teens.) Catholic CDs and movies have been helpful to me. Now, I’m learning a lot online from fellow bloggers and online magazines.

Describe yourself as a student.

As a student, I am interested and engaged. I enjoy learning as long as there is no compulsion. I do avoid classes/subjects that don’t interest me, and tend to avoid learning/doing that feels ‘too hard’ for me. I shut down if I feel there is any competition, but I enjoy trying to do my best on assignments, otherwise. Pressure is a problem for me. I don’t learn well if time-crunched.

Describe your current approach to spiritual life and growth.

My current approach to spiritual growth is to stay immersed in all-things-Catholic. Mass and Sabbath-keeping, Divine Office (at least Morning Prayer daily, and I do miss some days), and ‘prayer without ceasing’ during the day. I have a Spiritual Director who meets with me by phone, and several women I mentor, whose lives and needs inspire me to grow. Reading, reading, as always – currently: Charity and Truth (encyclical by Pope Benedict XVI), Edith Stein’s Woman, Chesterton’s Orthodoxy, Dante’s Divine Comedy, Waugh’s Brideshead Revisited. My work is my prayer – writing and non-profit projects, homemaking and life in family. Catholic friends and community help sustain me, of course.

Have you experienced God forming/teaching/changing/shaping you without your conscious participation?

I have experienced what felt like God healing, or resolving some issue in me, when I was passively receptive, or even while I slept. But this was always preceded by my struggle, or my awareness of need plus prayer, or my yearning. I have experienced an amazing new ‘ease’ in some area that had been ‘rough’ or ‘hard’ for me – especially after asking for Mary’s help (Fr. Gaitley speaks of her help as a ‘shortcut’ to growth) – that I attribute to her untying of knots within me. I’ve had God ‘teach’ me without my conscious attempt to learn something, and am certain He did much to shape me through shaping the external context of my life. I’ve also experienced the sure-knowing that my burdens were being lighted for me by the prayers of others. In my conversion to Christianity, I had no idea how to ‘consciously participate,’ except to say “If you want in, come. That’s the only invitation you’ll get.” And He came, despite my rudeness, and acted upon me despite my lack of participation! I ask Him to ‘act upon me’ every Sunday, hoping to get out of His way and then ‘work out my salvation’ on the other six days.