Charlotte Ostermann

I write, speak, invest, network, and question to stimulate fruitful conversation. Let's talk about human flourishing! It begins with freedom. Holy leisure is the key to human being, freedom and generativity.  Please join me in the adventure of realizing Christ!

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You are here: Home / All My Blogging / Screwtape a la Charlotte

By charlotte ostermann

Screwtape a la Charlotte

Have you read C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters? Here’s my rendition:

My Dear Wormwood,

You’ve read the old manual and are stuck in the old ways. We must constantly come up with new ways to guide our patients to their best end, and away from the designs of the Enemy. New times demand new ploys. I realize this idea is painful, reminding us too clearly that ‘newness’ is the one area in which we actually have no power, but hear me out. In the absence of that creativity-from-nothing trick of the Enemy’s, we still have tricks up our sleeves. Human beings are easily convinced that change itself, or novelty is ‘newness’. Our ace in the hole is that we can keep twisting things back and forth ad nauseum and they keep thinking every shift in what they see is some new thing! Probably they hate to suspend disbelief in magic because they don’t fully believe in the possibility reality could be more delightfully surprising. Whatever their problem, it’s to our advantage.

Simply go back through all the catalog of things from their book of ‘truth’ (the idiots made everything that is real so ridiculously apparent, it’s a snap to find it all out and turn it this way and that for our purposes!). Take something real like a baby, for instance. You can go two ways: make him adore babies to the point of craving them (this is the best approach if he’s been unfruitful, for it leads him to any number of deliciously abominable ways of getting a baby), or make him hate and fear them (especially if he’s got a few – your movie makers and novelists could help him gradually grow to despise his own flesh and blood, fear they’ll cost him more than they’re worth, etc…).

Need something new? The one who has no children can be made to worship them and spend time conniving against those less worthy to have them to raise and influence. How we love it when anyone spins idealizations and then crushes others to see them realized! The one who has ‘em can adore them, too, for a creative twist. There’s nothing nicer than wrenching parental love into contortions of idolatry. Pretty soon you’ll have the kids as demi-gods, propitiated with offerings only Mammon can provide by their parents who fear their displeasure as much as they might have feared the displeasure of Zeus in a different day.

Twist, twist, twist – that’s our motto! We’re only bored by it because we’ve been doing it so long. Humans will eat this stuff up. Take whatever is, and whatever they think or feel about it, and get them spinning the other way on it. We’ve got humans down there on our side, proving scientifically and philosophically that everything is true for somebody and everything real is an illusion and everything only spins, without a center that holds. Just try to keep them away from remembering what people, or they themselves, used to think. Memory is the Enemy’s weapon, in this case, and that’s why we’ve got legions working on getting rid of old books and old people.

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Filed Under: All My Blogging Tagged With: C.S. Lewis, disintegration, memory, Parenting, realization, surprise, twist, worship

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Building the Bridge

This is my most-requested audio – about how we can educate our children well, despite our own inadequacies. The Problem – We must get kids from where they are, to where they need to be; from ‘uneducated’ to ‘educated’. Given the poverty of our own education, we feel asked to do the impossible: build a […]

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Putting Down Sabbath Roots

Some audiences want to cut right to the chase: “Give us practical applications of all your ideas about Sabbath-keeping.” OK – here you go: In this talk I do just that – give concrete, practical ways to dip into the kind of leisure that brings  interior equanimity and leaves you more whole, more human, more […]

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Women on the Way to Healing

I prepared this talk for the Heart of a Woman group, in Kansas City, shortly after the suicide of a Catholic mother of ten. It was a shock to me, but not entirely unexpected, as I had known her during the years she struggled with depression and disintegration, despite her devotion to the Church, Christ, […]

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High Resolution Beauty

For an Apostles of the Interior Life Women’s Retreat, where the theme was “The King Desires Your Beauty,”  I prepared this truly interesting talk. Will you believe me when I say that this is another of my favorites?!?! I know, I’ve said that about a  lot of these talks, but revisiting them to give a […]

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Sabbath is a Woman

I once asked a friend who calls herself a Jewish-Catholic if it had been hard for her to accept Mary’s role in Salvation History. She laughed and said, “Heck no! Every Sabbath was begun by a Jewish mama’s prayers! I’d have been suspicious if Lord Sabbaoth hadn’t come through a woman.” Jewish women welcomed Sabbath […]

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The Veiled Self

Differences between the original myth of Cupid and Psyche, and C.S. Lewis’ retelling of the myth in Till We Have Faces have the effect of revealing new dimensionality in the Christian understanding of both myth and of the human person. The pre-Christian myth, like the pre-Christian person, is veiled in a darkness that constitutes a […]

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About a Landscape

In “Stour Valley and Dedham Church”  Constable has painted the Vale of Dedham – a familiar and beloved area of his native England.

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A Merry Drinker

 “The Merry Drinker,” by Frans Hals This is a portrait of an unnamed man, called in the title only ‘a merry drinker’.

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A Wedding Feast

Giotto’s painting, The Wedding Feast at Cana, portrays the literal and spiritual senses of this story.

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St. Francis Altar

Berlinghieri’s St. Francis  appears behind the altar of San Francesco in Pescia, Italy. It is an excellent example of art ordered to divine worship.

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Three-Dimensional Transcendentals

Benedictine College hosted a Symposium for Advancing the New Evangelization in 2014. The theme was Transcendentals as Preambles to Faith, and I got to propose my take on that as a paper. Anyone who knows me could probably have bet good money I’d do something ‘three dimensional’ with that, and they’d have won those bets. […]

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A Prayer, A Poem, A Person, A Place

I once got a chance to do an all-day retreat with one of the sister Apostles of the Interior Life. Naturally, I wanted to discuss the role of leisure in the formation of persons! As usual, I prayed about the upcoming event, and God brought together several threads of my contemplation to weave this talk. […]

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Did you know YOU are a poem? Check out Ephesians 2:10, where the Greek ‘poema’ is usually translated ‘workmanship’. I like ‘poema’ better, as it implies beauty and artistry, but ‘workmanship’ is nice. I’ve discussed the importance of poetry, poetic education, poetic imagination and poetic reading in many different venues (many of the talk topics […]

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