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The Gaze of God
My Novena turned into a Poem!
I love being asked by my ‘sending community’ (the Family of the Apostles of the Interior Life) to write something helpful. If an artist is to understand herself not as a lone ‘artiste,’ but as a member of the Body of Christ, she needs to be called to serve the Body, and to use her gifts within the context of community. The Family isn’t, strictly, a ‘community,’ but at least it’s a ‘family’ of sorts, with mamas who can call upon us to serve.
So, here comes the Women’s Retreat (in September) and I got to write a Novena for us all to pray together, for the organizers, participants, travelers, speakers, and priests involved. That Novena overflowed into my heart, and emerged as this poem.
For the nine-day structure of the novena, I took three sets of three for the Father, the Spirit, and Christ, considering the gaze ‘from Heaven,’ from ‘within time,’ and ‘from the Cross’ as my daily focus. I considered, as I’ve done a lot during my life as a Christian, the position of a ‘Mary Magdalene’ before this gaze. Though God’s gaze is a loving one, it isn’t always easy to stand before it exposed, known. Even love itself can be terribly painful to receive when one has long given up the hope of it, and the heart has hardened. Anyway, I had the final image of the Divine Mercy in mind from the moment I began to contemplate the movement from Day One to Day Nine, and I love how it turned out.
In the poem, there are, as always, lots of nuances and such – the Spirit’s proceeding from the Father and Son; the utter stillness of God reflecting upon Himself-as-Word within the always-moving of the Love within the Trinity; the starkness of Truth and the difficulty of standing in its light; the ‘in Him I live and move and have my being’ that I always love to write about; the tension of temporality, actuality, means of grace and the light from the Cross shining into that tension and darkness; the coming-into-eternal-life that is promised, with its face-to-face seeing of God; and even an image from the making of holographs, for which three beams of light are needed (read Souls at Work for more on that!) I love the phrase ‘full-piteous sight,’ because it is an image of Our Lord, pitifully crucified and also of His gaze upon us being full of pity, and also alludes to the notion that our own light, or sight, is so limited, so pitiful by comparison to the light of Faith.
The Gaze of God
Held in the unmoved gaze
between Father and Son;
Caught in torrential love,
carried on Spirit wings
from pole to pole of Life,
I am.
Pierced by the blazing rays,
bared to the Holy One,
broken and bent and weak,
supported by the Son –
Perfection undergirds,
I stand.
Clinging to Wisdom’s ways,
climbing the path of time –
cluttered with means and mess,
clouded by witnesses,
lit by full-piteous sight –
I come.
Birthed to the unveiled Face:
Christ’s pattern realized;
Filled with an unearned grace;
Finally sanctified.
In every moment, seen
whole by the Triune beam,
I rise.
All the poems are now in one volume, and I’d love for you to have a copy! Click on the cover to buy it, and click here for the recordings of all the poems.
Novena for the AVI Women’s Retreat
Daily:
Holy God, we pray for the coming retreat: that everyone who participates will unveil her soul completely before You, and experience the healing power of Your all-knowing, merciful, loving gaze deep in her inmost being. May we each know more fully what it is to be seen and loved by You. Please, make Your face shine upon us, and give us peace. St. Mary Magdalene, pray for us. St. Joseph, pray for us. Blessed Virgin Mary, pray for us.
Day One:
Dear God, You look upon me with such love! Help me to meet your gaze, receive Your love fully, and love You in return.
Day Two:
Father, in Your eyes I see how deeply You pity me. Help me to bear the awareness of my profound poverty, and turn to You always to supply my every need.
Day Three:
Lord, Your face lights up with joy as you receive my praise! May I live to delight You, and may Your joy overflow through me.
Day Four:
Spirit of Wisdom, You see and know all that I am. Please protect and guide me, and remind me to walk by Your perfect sight, and not by my own.
Day Five:
Perfect Justice, You perceive all that is lacking in me. May I stand fearlessly in the light of Your gaze and willingly accept Your loving discipline.
Day Six:
Holy Spirit, You look upon Christ within me, helping to accomplish His perfect work in me. I ask you to continue to nurture His life in my soul, and to pray especially for removal of obstacles of which I am not aware.
Day Seven:
Jesus, when You looked upon the Virgin Mary from the Cross, You saw Your whole Church – saw me – under her maternal wing. Please keep me close to Your Mother, and sensitive to her countenance, whose face reflects your pleasure and pain so transparently.
Day Eight:
Christ, You look down upon me, resurrected and victorious over sin and death! May I turn over and over from my defeats and trials to receive new courage from Your triumphant gaze.
Day Nine:
Merciful God, You look at me with such longing to give Yourself wholly to me. Make me ever-ready to receive Your Divine Mercy and to carry it to others by looking at them through the eyes of Love.
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